Stolen funny personals…..

  • Patriarch of up-and-coming religion seeks altar girl
  • Frisky pup seeks some tail. Tired of going in circles. Lets catch up sometime–you can lead the way.

Source

  • Jane no good, Cheetah stinks. Tarzan seeks swinging GM to be the lord of his jungle.
  • Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots.
  • 1970 GMC w/Jet Skiis SWM, NM, GL, NS, SD, AC. Low mileage, custom paint, long sandy blonde graphics. 6’2″ Lift. Bright hazel headlights will take 20-30 SF anywhere. Email for free test drive/ride.
  • I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.
  • There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them.
  • Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
  • When I was thirty my dates had to be young, slim, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent. Now I’m 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone!

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