A COMMITTEE IS A GROUP THAT KEEPS MINUTES AND LOSES HOURS.
Articles par LAURA
Nos amis les matous nous font souvent rire, et à Social Fuzz nous vous proposons régulièrement des séries picturales les mettant en scène. les plus inimaginables dans lesquels ils se mettent pour dormir. Les 12 positions les plus burlesques des chats pour piquer un petit somme!
Funny sleeping positions:
Would you wear any of these?
If you are traveling a lot and don’t always know the language of the country you are visiting, then this T-shirt is for you. It has a phrase book printed on it so just point a finger at the pictogram you need and then point it twice at the question mark, which means, “Where is it?” and in no time you have found what you were looking for… or not.
Making tea, though easy to do, is also time consuming. Once you pour the hot water into the cup, you must patiently hover over it, waiting for the tea to steep. Well, the Penguin Tea Timer happily does the waiting for you.
Place your tea cup under the beak and set it to the desired time. As you turn the timer dial, the beak lowers the tea into the hot water. When time is up, a bell sounds and the penguin automatically lifts his beak, removing the tea bag from the water.
Scarcey cat: Jake is Britains rarest moggy as a male tortoiseshell11 May 2013 22:00
Cute pet defies 400,000/1 odds of being a male cat with black, ginger and white tortoiseshell fur submitJake the amazing moggySteve Bainbridge Photography Limited ©2013Take a good look at Jake the moggy… can you work out the X Factor that makes him Britain’s rarest cat?The clue lies in the colour of his coat… and the fact that Jake is a he.This 11-month-old puss, bought from a litter for £20, has defied odds of 400,000-to-one as a male with black, ginger and white tortoiseshell fur.Normally tomcats have only one “X” chromosome in their DNA, meaning their coat can only be two colours.Richard with his beloved pet
Steve Bainbridge Photography Limited ©2013
Owner Richard Smith, 22, didn’t know anything was unusual when he took Jake to the vet’s.“He asked us, ‘You do know this cat is a girl?’?” said Richard. “When we insisted it was a boy he opened Jake’s legs and couldn’t believe it.”The vet called in an older colleague who said he had never seen a male tortoiseshell in 30 years of practice.“It’s physically written in their DNA that they can’t be three colours,” said Richard. “When it does happen, it’s a complete accident in the DNA.”Jake, picked from the litter by Richard’s son Harvey, five, is still allowed out to roam in Greenhithe, Kent.“Even though he’s so rare, Jake’s still just a family pet to us,” said Richard.
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When I was about 3 we had a cat that had still born kittens. I asked my father if we could make crosses for them, which he did. As he was making them I asked:
“aren’t those too small?”,
Dad: “What do you Mean?”
Me: “aren’t we going to nail them to them?”
Dad: (after several moments silence) “we’re not going to do that”
My 3 year old nephew was at my cottage. He’s asked me numerous times about the “girl over there” while pointing at one of the back bedrooms. The place is small, and there is definitely nobody there so I just dismiss it as a really active imagination (he has lots of imaginary friends).
Then some friends are visiting and they have a daughter around the same age. She has never met my nephew. Twice in the one day she asked about the “pretty girl” while pointing at the exact same room. Definitely caught me out and I didn’t know what to think.
Then at Christmas my family was over at my place and my nephew points at a picture of my wife and asks if she is coming to visit us here or does she just stay at the cottage. My wife died ten years ago. Personally I don’t really believe in paranormal stuff so it’s probably just my logical brain putting together a bunch of kids ramblings but it definitely got my attention.
A good friend of mine and her husband bought what is considered an ‘old’ house around here. (Western Canada…not many houses over 100 years old). They were renovating the basement one day while I was visiting. I was down there alone with their son, who was barely 2 at the time, and could not yet speak in full sentences. He took my hand and led me over to a brick chimney-like thing thing, with a rusty metal door on it. He looked up and said ‘That’s where the dead babies go.’
I was horrified. Firstly, because, like I said, the kid could barely talk, let alone say something like that. I doubt he even knew what ‘dead’ meant. I’m positive that no one would have told him that, and there were no older kids around that would have said that as a joke. Still creeps me out to this day.
When my little sister was younger she used to walk around the house with a picture frame with a picture of my great grandpa in her hands crying and saying “I miss you Harvey.” Harvey had died before even I was born. Other than this common occurrence my mom told me that she would constantly say things that my great grandma Lucy would say.
My wife was getting my 2yr old son up one morning. He was standing in his bed/crib. As she said good morning and walked over to him he picked up her shirt a little and crooked his head to the side. She asked him what he was doing and he said, “looking for my baby sister in your tummy.” She laughed it off as a weird kid imagination thing. We found out later that at the time she was 2 weeks pregnant and it was, in fact, a girl. We are due in September. We had never really had the talk about where babies come from nor did we talk about having another child at all around him. So spooky.
My father tells me this story of my childhood every once in a while:
When I was around six years old, my dad’s best friend committed suicide. We’ll call him “Joe” for the sake of the story. Obviously, it was a very rough and emotional time for my dad. Joe was my dad’s best man at his wedding, the one guy who was always there for him. After my dad got married, he and my mother left Joe and the town they were in to start a life outside of the town they grew up in. After years of moving around California, my family eventually moved to Utah, where my father worked for a successful internet business. Joe stayed behind in Washington. Because my family were so far away from their old life with Joe, there wasn’t a lot of foresight/warning that Joe intended on ending his own life.
Joe’s sister apparently had been blaming Joe’s wife for her brothers suicide. Joe and his wife drank a lot of booze, and probably as a result, fought a lot. My father always said that they were a passionate couple; yes, they would fight often, but he hardly knew two other individuals who were so completely in love. For this reason, he didn’t believe it.
A few days after Joe committed suicide, his widow called up my father sobbing about how she thought it was her fault. After about an hour of trying to console her, he told her “If there was a way for me to talk to Joe now, I guarantee you that he would tell you that he loved you, and that it wasn’t your fault that he ended his life.” Crying, she still didn’t believe him, but she thanked him for the kind words and let my father go.
My dad was obviously distraught after that long, hysteric conversation. He had been down in his office for a while, and he decided to come up and check on his kids while making a pot of coffee to take his mind off of things. We were all supposed to be napping, but he thought he’d peek his head into our rooms to make sure we were safe/maybe try to have a little smile or brightness added to his day.
Sure enough, when my dad got to my room, I was fast asleep on my bed. He went to my brother’s room, and he was also sleeping. Finally, he checks on my sister, who is sleeping as smugly as an angel. He decides to go back towards my room and into the kitchen to make some coffee.
As he walks by my room, he notices a whimper. He turns around, and enters my room, where he finds me weeping. I was five years old, so the way I was crying seemed odd to him. Normally a five year old would cry drastically over dramatically. I wasn’t. I was just sitting on the side of my bed, weeping.
My dad enters my room and says “Matty, whats up? Why are you crying?”
It’s then that I stop crying for a moment, look up at him with teary eyes and say “Rick, it’s not her fault. I love her. It’s not her fault.”
With that, I stopped crying, rolled over back onto my bed, and fell swiftly back to sleep.
Needless to say, my dad shit his pants.
When I was about 5ish my dads cousin shot his 7 year old son and then shot himself (his wife filed for divorce and wanted custody of their son and he went crazy). Well after this happened my dad and his brothers had to clean out their cousins house. Since I was the youngest one at the time they all decided, “Oh! Jess should get this dead child’s toys! That’s great!”
So I ended up with one of those Little Tikes outdoor play castle. You know the one that was like a little plastic castle tower and you could sit inside? Sucha cool fort.
Anyway, The one day I was sitting inside the tower part and my mom was on the deck and she heard me talking to myself. So she comes over and asks who I’m talking to this time (I had a lot of imaginary friends). I told her I was talking to the little boy whose castle it was and told him not to cry because my mommy could be his mommy. My mom promptly had my dad throw the castle out.
TL;DR – I told my mom that a dead little boy would be her child now too.
Edit – Heres another fun part of the story! When my dad was packing the boys stuffed animals and stuff into his truck to bring them for donation, he heard a little boys voice say, “What are you doing with my toys?” Now my dad is the manliest man I’ve ever met and he said that he got freaked out by the voice because it was so clear. You’d think this would be a good sign to not give me any of his toys.
Lamp Post Blocks Great-Grans New DrivewayTuesday, 30th April 2013 20:35
A great-grandmother has been left with a useless new driveway which she had laid just days after council contractors erected a lamp post directly at the end of it.
Kathleen Annals had already arranged for the drive to be put in after becoming frustrated that friends and family had nowhere to park when visiting her at her detached home in Andover, Hampshire.
The pensioner now has to apply for the lamp post to be moved to enable visitors to park in the drive.Mrs Annals said: “Last year they issued parking space permits outside. I have no car since my husband died but I have friends and people come to visit and theres nowhere for them to park so I thought I should have a driveway put in.
“This lamp post was put in by the council. I had a small wall there at first. The contractor for the driveway said that he was going to put in to the council to have a dropped kerb and hes going to apply for the lamp post to be moved as well.”He thought he would do the drive first then put in for it to be moved – its all the wrong way round.”
A spokeswoman for Hampshire County Council said that the lamp post was installed as part of a rolling programme of installations in the area. She said: “We are grateful to the householder for acknowledging that her drive way was laid some time after the street light column was installed.
“She has submitted a request this week for work to be carried out on the footway to enable vehicle access to and from the highway.”Clearly, this will require the street light to be moved. We are assisting Mrs Annals with her application for a dropped kerb, including making the necessary arrangements for the street light column to be moved.”
The council normally charges between £600 and £1,200 for a dropped kerb to be installed, but in this case, it would ensure the costs were kept to a minimum.”We would normally seek to recover the costs associated with work to lower a kerb or moving a street light,” the spokeswoman added.”However, each case is individually assessed and this is no exception. We will ensure that the works to provide a dropped kerb and to relocate the street light are co-ordinated to keep costs and any inconvenience to a minimum.”
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Only those things are beautiful which are inspired by madness and written by reason.
Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly. (P. J. O’Rourke)
This collection is a little different than my regular lists of vintage tips as some are superstitious (though there are practical nuggets here too). It’s hard to say how old any of them are, how they came about or why they were considered worthwhile to know.
Old wives tales were a simple way to impress upon someone the importance of doing (or not doing) a particular thing, in a manner which would be remembered and easily passed on from one generation to the next. Sometimes you have to interpret the hidden nuggets (ie. maybe salt stopping evil in its tracks was code for pest control, or the dire warning of accidentally boiling over the milk was more about taking care of precious food stores).
The stories could be regionally important, culturally significant, spiritually necessary (in the minds of those who repeated them), or vital to the health of the household budget (remember there was a time when the prices of salt and other pantry items were quite dear).
I’m not claiming these should be taken seriously or are vital information, I just find them interesting and in some cases useful to know. I pretty much kept the collection light, avoiding the death warnings and the evil eye or witch fears…though if you’re interested in that, stock up on sage and salt STAT, lol…nothing too dramatic in this bunch. I hope you enjoy them and they pique your interest as they do for me 🙂
If a home is in disarray on New Year’s Day, the housewife will struggle with clutter and dissatisfaction throughout the year. If it’s tidy and clean, the home will be easy to manage.
- Laundry should never be done on Sundays for there will surely be a terrible stain, tear or worse in the week ahead.
- Above ground crops (such as tomatoes) should be sown in the wane of the moon; underground crops (carrots, potatoes, parsnips, etc.) at the change of the moon.
- The best day of the year to plant cabbage is on St. Patrick’s day.
- The best time to plant flowers is in the increase of the moon.
- A mild winter lies ahead if onions dug from the garden at harvest time have thin skins.
- Any women who desires to have order in her home must allow sage to flourish in her garden.
- Stir cake from you and you will stir your troubles away.
- A cake baked in the morning will rise, a cake baked in the afternoon will drop.
- To make cake light, it must always be stirred the same way.
- Pastry must be rolled an uneven number of times otherwise it will be tough.
- Every scrap of pastry must be baked or there will be an unwanted expense.
- Cold hands and a warm heart make the best pastry.
- A thunderstorm will addle eggs and sour any milk that’s been left out.
- Before a young girl bakes her first loaf of bread, her hands should be rubbed in sugar so that she may always make good, sweet bread.
- Stir bread away from you for good luck, trouble will come if you stir toward you.
- Evergreens should be taken down on Old Christmas Day (January 6th) or ill-luck will follow.
- A clean pot should be kept in an empty oven, this will ensure there will always be at least a little food to cook in it.
- When making the bed, don’t interrupt your work or you will spend a restless night in it.
- Stabbing needles through yarn balls will bring bad luck to anyone who wears something made from that yarn.
- Rosemary planted by the doorstep will keep evil away…put salt on the doorstep of a new house and no evil can enter.
- If a new bride should quietly take her mother’s dishcloth, she will never be homesick.
Up until the past few generations, people were terrified of evil and more afraid of bad luck than they were of a little dirt (not realizing that pestilence and disease could flourish in an unkempt home), so these little words of wisdom served a purpose…even those that seem ridiculous to us today.
The average person worked HARD back in the day and the last thing anyone wanted to do was worry about which direction the dirt should be swept (according to my collection of tales, it should be swept away from the house rather than towards it or you’re sure to attract doom). Common sense for basic cleanliness? Sure! But the purpose of the tale was to make sure the chore was done with care and attention by a people who commonly lived a hardscrabble life from early morning till late evening…there were no Real Housewives episodes to distract and ease the stress of the day, it was “Go” time from start to finish.
And who knows, maybe these old gals knew a thing or two that we just can’t grasp 😉 .
Englishman Slows Speeders by Installing… a Bird Feeder
By Kwame Opam
Aug 20, 2011 4:40 PM
Driving fast is awesome. Getting tickets sucks. But at the end of the day, probably safer. One Englishman agreed. He noticed that speed cameras are a good deterrent for speeders. Only he didn’t need a camera. He used a bird feeder that looks like a camera.
It’s really quite ingenious. 63-year-old Ian Magee of Williton, Somerset, created a simple bird box with the same size, shape, and bright yellow color as a British traffic camera. He hoped it would stop drivers from breaking the 30mph speed limit outside his home.
And it worked. Even ambulances slowed down. Meanwhile, the birds and bats in the neighborhood have really taken to it. Win for nature and society,
Except authorities are divided on whether or not Magee should take the thing down. Which is silly. Magee’s cleverness has probably saved both money and lives. He’s doing the community a service. Wouldn’t it be wise to just leave well enough alone? [Daily Mail]
“Women marry men hoping they will change. Men marry women hoping they will not. So each is inevitably disappointed.”
– Albert Einstein
Ok, it may take up to 10 days for my phone to come back to me. I am not sure how I will get my calls and texts… they do not want to lend me a replacement phone, in the meantime… Ok (sigh)… “how will I know my phone is ready for collection?” I asked.
Answer: “By text”
I have received a note from my vet reminding me that my cat is due for her yearly booster (vaccination). The reminder was followed by a note: “bring a urine sample, if possible”.
Not sure how this works in practice: do I run after my cat armed with a little jar? Do I ask her nicely? Solutions welcome!
Stolen funny personals…..
- Patriarch of up-and-coming religion seeks altar girl
- Frisky pup seeks some tail. Tired of going in circles. Lets catch up sometime–you can lead the way.
- Jane no good, Cheetah stinks. Tarzan seeks swinging GM to be the lord of his jungle.
- Submissive male seeks dominant female with extensive knowledge of knots.
- 1970 GMC w/Jet Skiis SWM, NM, GL, NS, SD, AC. Low mileage, custom paint, long sandy blonde graphics. 6’2″ Lift. Bright hazel headlights will take 20-30 SF anywhere. Email for free test drive/ride.
- I like eating mayonnaise and peanut butter sandwiches in the rain, watching Barney Miller reruns, peeing on birds in the park and licking strangers on the subway; you eat beets raw, have climbed Kilimanjaro, and sweat freely and often. Must wear size five shoes.
- There is a little place in the jumbled sock drawer of my heart where you match up all the pairs, throw out the ones with holes in them, and buy me some of those neat dressy ones with the weird black and red geometrical designs on them.
- Angry, simple-minded, balding, partially blind ex-circus flipper boy with a passion for covering lovers in sour cream and gravy seeks exotic, heavily tattooed piercing fanatic, preferably hairy and stinky, either sex, for whippings, bizarre sex and fashion consulting. No freaks.
- When I was thirty my dates had to be young, slim, tall, handsome, rich, intelligent. Now I’m 64, they only have to know how to read and use the telephone!
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
A stockbroker urged me to buy a stock that would triple its value every year. I told him, “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas.”